All in Faith

On What Makes Us Tick

I started this new blog a few months ago with the idea of it being a place to talk about the issues and ideas that seem to resonate with both me and a lot of the people I know. At first glance, these things may not seem to be related (which is a problem if you’re trying to figure narrow down what your blog is all about) but when I listed off the subjects that energize me I realized that they are all basically topics that flow into what makes us tick. I’m interested in talking about and understanding why we are who we are in relation to:

This Is Me (the Greatest Showman)

And this movie, rather than a literal, historically accurate retelling of the life of the infamous ringmaster is more of an inspired commentary on giving a voice or a stage or a spotlight to those who've been invisible in society.

But as I'm guessing is true for so many others, it also hits me deeper with a laser-like intensity. In This Is Me, Lettie Lutz, the bearded lady in PT Barnum's menagerie, sings:

I am not a stranger to the dark. Hide away, they say. 'Cause we don't want your broken parts. I've learned to be ashamed of all my scars. Run away, they say, No one will love you as you are.
But I won't let them break me down to dust. I know that there's a place for us. For we are glorious. 
When the sharpest words wanna cut me down. I'm gonna send a flood, gonna drown them out. I am brave. I am bruised. I am who I'm meant to be. This is me. 
Look out 'cause here I come. And I'm marching on to the beat I drum. I'm not scared to be seen. I make no apologies, this is me. 
Another round of bullets hits my skin. Well fire away 'cause today I won't let the shame sink in. We are bursting through the barricades and reaching for the sun. We are warriors. Yeah that's what we've become. 

So while I'm no bearded lady (although I can't find my tweezers and there is a bit of a situation brewing) I feel like every word in this song reverberates through my soul. Going through a dark time of questioning things I used to think I was sure of, and the well-meaning but surprising reactions some people had to those questions, made me feel a bit like I had to hide. Like if I didn't believe the "right things" then I had no right to be a believer at all.

Moving Day...for my blog

These last four years have been ones of crazy change and upheaval from the normal day-to-day I had known for so many years. I went from being a 19 year stay-at-home mom/writer with four kids at home and a husband who worked a crazy amount of hours (mostly evenings) at a restaurant he now being a full time Real Estate Agent with just two kids at home and a husband (same one...haha...don't want to confuse) who does real estate with me. And while all that external change was obvious, what was not so obvious was all the change taking place inside of me. All the change that made me press the mute button on my writing "voice."